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how does this work like coME ON

/every time/ we're on BBM (well, were) we talk so much like endless laughs and little random chats. but then if we meet in real life, things just don't go. like. that.

BBM
Me: 
oh my god iya sdfhsfdhgerydfhfghdfghtyjutybhrgertgrt HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *emoticons* fgjhgfdgjytnbarthsrth BANGET HAHAHAH
Him: emang emang HAHAHAHAHAHA geblek lo sumpah dfhertgdghymyhtrgetveryerther etc *emoticons* HAHAHAHAH

this usually lasts the whole day. once he left me hanging cos he fell asleep lol. ya whatever.

quite the contrary though,

REAL LIFE (this just happened like... yesterday-ish or sth)
*beforehand on bbm, he agreed to pick me up (along with other friends) and go to some place*
Me: *gets in his car* ............................................... hello.
Him: .......................... yeah hi.
Me: *talks and laughs with other peeps in his car* *completely ignoring him cos really i just dont know what to do help*
the only interaction happening was.. we sang along to radio songs together. ok.

dont forget when we were actually arrived at that place.

Me: how's your *something he mentioned to me that he's going to make* going?
Him: it's... alright... not sure about some points.... yeah
Me: ok...

this keeps happening. smh.

Nov. 8th, 2012

the first thought when i know i will never ever have my phone back (at least for awhile, if parents nice enough to buy me new one or I. DO. NOT. KNOW.) was

MY CRUSH.
i
cant
chat
with
him
no
n
O

and then how the fuck do i suppose to wake up in the morning without my phone alarm


today i woke up late.

IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN!

nah, not that i'm having this every year. in fact, i havent felt like this ever since HOW-SHOULD-I-KNOW-IT-WAS-JUST-ANCIENT-YEARS-AGO.

to be really honest, i don't have any single freakin clue of what i'm feeling. and it pisses me off. somehow. cos i really hate this phase.

i think i like someone. yes, THAT like. No, NOT in love (at least not yet.......... /wrists wow okay itunes stop playing silly songs not helping at all.)

this is me coming out ha ha.... ha. :| this is huge for me cos really i have to deal with things and feels and not to mention, myself (people close enough to me, i think, know how i'd be if i'm at this phase or even worse. total shipwreck and super giddy.)

omfg i hate myself WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURSELF

1.

Anne sat on the nearest seat she could find there while waiting for her order to come. It was rather a sunny sunday in Munich, not the kind of weather they usually have around September. Maybe that's the reason of almost the people decide to go out at once, making this cafe so packed and clamorous. 
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kadang suka sakit banget kalo di exclude dari kumpulan teman. either itu pas lagi ngumpul terus tiba2 gue sadar tiba2 jadi ansos (cos most of the time gue bahkan nggak tau what they heck are they talking about) atau mereka mengexclude gue dalam lingkaran itu (most definitely karena mereka juga tau gue nggak interested) atau none of the above, kayak misalnya tiba2 cek newsfeed FB atau timeline twitter ada postingan foto2/cerita kalo mereka abis jalan rame2. tanpa gue.

barusan liat postingan foto2 BUKA BERSAMA 2011 ANGKATAN SMA yang notabene semua tumpah ruah disana. gue alumni sana. dan gue nggak tau ada event itu. either gue nggak mau mencari tau atau mereka emang nggak peduli. tapi itu sakit.

kadang suka iri juga ngeliat anak2 SMA/alumni2 SMA yang deket banget sama sesamanya. gue nggak dapet esensi itu sejak dulu. selain emang gue korban bully yang nggak dianggep, ternyata sama circle friends pun gue diacuhkan. ironis.

jadi mikir sih, apa gue sebegitu annoyingnya in real world? mungkin iya.
Germany NT losses: 2002, 2004, 2006, 2010, 2012
Bayern Munchen losses: 2010/2011 Bundesliga and Champions League, 2011/2012 Bundesliga AND Champions League.

streak 9 losses since i have been supporting the germans.
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
I KNEW I HAD IT COMING, YO.
IT'S A CURSE.
WELP.
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
FUN
IT'S BEEN HELL OF A RIDE SUPPORTING YOU GUYS AND I WOULD HAVE, COULD HAVE, STOPPED IT BUT I CAN'T. AND I WONT.
SCHLLLLLAAAANNNNNNDDD!!!!!!!!!!! MOTHERFUCKING SCCCHHHHLLLLLAAAAAANNNNNDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALSO IF YOU COME TO ME TELLING I'M AN INSTANT FAN, I'D BET YOU'LL NEVER EVER SEE THE SUNLIGHT EVER AGAIN.
A FAN CAN'T BE SARCASTIC? A FAN CAN'T BE MAD WITH THIER OWN TEAM? THEY FUCKING CAN. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY PLAY LIKE SHIT.
A FAN MUST CONGRATULATE THE WINNING OPPONENT TEAM? NOPE. IT'S NOT AN OBLIGATORY. IF YOUR TEAM PLAYED LIKE SHIT AND NOT DESERVED THE TITLE, WHY SHOULD I?


HAPPY CAPSLOCK DAY, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Writer's Block: Stop That!

What is one thing in your life that you wish you could stop doing?

Hey, you.

hi. um. i know how the things have gone so far for you. it's incredibly amazing and i'm proud. you're a good player. a good man, too! if i may add. not that we don't know that.

what's bugging me lately is how you're doing in this championship. gotta tell you.. it's not that good. i'm terribly sorry. Not to mention, the sudden hate towards you, telling you're an arrogant prick and all.

bitch, it is not counted as arrogant if you had a strong determination and dreams. they could have had it BUT YOU GOT IN OUR WAY. go fuck yourself with those fucking trophies, you dirty fag. yes, i'm talking to you, dortmund fan.

anyway

i'm concern about how you react to this "benchwarmer" situation. i know it sucks. i know you want to prove yourself that you can do this. i believe in you. It saddens me, you know? Seeing you right there, not playing. hm.

but we have enormous amount of belief and faith in Jögi. He knows what he's doing, he knows what each of his boy capable of. that's including you.

You are precious. Jögi himself said that, remember? so please, be patient. Maybe, just maybe, it's too late for him to make some changes as we getting closer to final and this current well-built up team is all we ever need. your time will come somehow. Not this time? There's always World Cup and another Euro. please dont ever think this is the sign of your downfall. no it is not. Don't lose hope.

i'm never gonna stop supporting you, even you dont even know who i am.

you will shine.

I AM JUST SO MAD OF EVERYTHING
THANKS FOR RUINING MY GOOD DAYS OF CELEBRATION
THANK YOU
YOU'RE FUCKING AWESOME
BUT NOT REALLY